i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
