You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
