im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
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