Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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