we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Randomize
