Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
