What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
