I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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