so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize
