Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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