Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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