you guys were way drunker than both of me
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
