hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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