yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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