We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize