Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize