how do flat chested girls get laid?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
