you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize