I want to have your abortion
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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