That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
