Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
17 year olds will be the death of me.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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