Only a mothe r could love this liver
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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