Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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