Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
