If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
