you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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