My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Randomize
