Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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