omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize