I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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