Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize