There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Operation Purity has been aborted
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
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