I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
