literally had 100 drinks last night.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
