I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I believe in your delicious
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize