why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
