I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
