my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize