i don't like sucking hair
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
