Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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