Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
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