I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
