His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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