Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
