ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
