she kept yelling 'call me bella'
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
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