Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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