my mouth tastes like poor choices
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Randomize
