thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
