"it" just moved
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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