i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
