Duck Duck Cougar?
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
