So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize