it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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