you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Randomize
