Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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